Part 4: Priorities
Yesterday was a good day, our good friend Debbi Rozowsky who is also a post-traumatic stress counsellor, came over and helped me process the chance of having to undergo chemo. The fear has been looming since the beginning and I am going to see my Breast surgeon and my oncologist tomorrow to determine the rest of my treatment plan. Am I nervous? Yes! but at this point, what else can I do but just handle whatever is thrown my way. My life comes first.
I had about ten friends come over last night. they pampered me, gave me a spa pedicure and spoilt me with flowers and dinner. It was such a joy to be with them.
The pain in the last 2 days has been a little worse. It was hard to mobilize this morning until I took another painkiller. I started getting irritated today wanting this healing process to accelerate and then reminded myself that this is a lesson in patience.
I couldn’t believe that I thought I would be fine to fly to Johannesburg and Durban to do a gig on the 11th and the 18th of Feb. I had so many bookings this month that I could have made close to R100 000. I had to cancel all of them. Why now? A part of me was sitting shiva over these lost opportunities. It's funny though how when you stop stressing, it just comes, I even got offered 2 great paying gigs on the 29th (the day of my surgery) and the 30th and I seriously considered pushing my surgery to the following week to do them.
I mean what was I actually thinking? If I had, had anything in the lymph nodes it could have metastasized. Thank goodness a friend reminded me what’s at stake here, my life! My health comes first before any gig!
I will be getting the final histology report from the tumour tomorrow, which will determine my treatment plan. I am going to meditate, read and try hard not to think about it.
Love & Health