Part 12: Oh so Wanda-Ful Healing
A few of my girlfriends have been going to an energy healer called "Wanda" they said she is absolutely Wanda-ful! After doing some research into alternative therapies and watching the Goop Lab on Netflix I decided I would give it a try. I arrived the day before my surgery at 11:30 at Canterbury Studios in Gardens, a very normal studio space which seemed to have a few practitioners. I couldn't wait to meet this woman and see if she was what I envisioned her to be. She came to meet me in the waiting room and had the most wonderful calming energy. I spoke to her briefly and told her what was going on with me, stage 2 breast cancer and the whole shpiel I laid all my shit on the table. Apparently, I've been in survival mode since I was about 15, being my harshest critic, being judgemental and so hard on myself and often having unrealistic expectations. "You must know that you have manifested this physical illness into your life, it's like a bell going off, a wake-up call to deal with whatever it is you are running away from, it could be trauma or your body being in survival mode for so long. Physical illness manifests on the outside but the root of the cause is inside, perhaps this is the universe's way of telling you to slow down."
At first, I thought, why would I want to manifest this?
Then I remembered what my new Teacher Dr Joe Dispenza had to say about this subject
Wanda had me lie down on the massage bed and told me she would be touching different points on my body and I might feel sensations at some points or none at all at others. I felt in a deep state of relaxation almost immediately as she began. I felt safe and nurtured in her presence, her healing touch felt so soothing as she moved her hands from my knees to my hip bones, my ankles to my head. When she reached my head she massaged it gently and rubbed some oils in her hands. She placed them over my face and asked me to inhale, I breathed in deeply enveloped in fragrance so sweet as the essence of life. She spoke in a soft voice, whispering prayers in the wind. She asked me to sit up, I wanted to with all my mind, but it was physically impossible. I was so relaxed that I was frozen, my body felt as heavy as lead and I couldn't move
She helped me up and had me sit upright. When she touched my right shoulder and my back ( the side where I broke my arm in the car accident and where my back usually spasms from having so much muscular tension ) I literally felt like I was melting under her touch, everything softened and I was like a Salvador Dali Clock.
I stood up and had to hold on the bed as again I felt like my knees were weak and my body softening. she brought me back into my body by saying a few words and she asked me to have a seat.
I was running late for my Breast Surgeons Pre Op appointment so she had to give me the just of our session quite briefly. I asked her what she had picked up from the healing and she told me
"You need to Nurture yourself"
"You are very good at nurturing those around you, but what does it mean to nurture you? What does that mean for you?" she said
I asked her if I should go home and google how to nurture oneself, and that it would probably tell me to take hot bubble baths, listen to relaxing music, eat comfort food, do activities I enjoy..etc and I do all these things. so what did she mean?
"To nurture yourself internally, how do you treat yourself, go back to your earliest memories, do you remember how you spoke to yourself? How you felt as a child?" Having Self Compassion and treating yourself kindly.
Don't pray for healing pray for wholeness
"The moment you're feeling whole, you're healing begins"
- Wanda & Joe Dispenza